The Ripple Effect - How Building A Better Relationship can Start With You

How Building a Better Relationship with You Can Strengthen Future Partnerships - The Ripple Effect

I Can Buy Myself Flowers - A woman holding a bouquet of flowers

People often come to relationship counselling and ask questions like

• “Why do I struggle to have healthy relationships?”

• “Why do my relationships keep failing?”

• “Why do I feel empty even when I’m in a relationship?”

• “Why do I rely so much on other people for validation?”

• “Why do I feel disconnected from myself?”

• "How do you fix a relationship"

A relationship is about more than just two people. How we listen, communicate, and show up in one connection has a way of influencing every other relationship in our lives. When you start building a better relationship with yourself, it creates a ripple effect, making it easier to connect with others in a more open, confident, and honest way.

People often seek relationship support asking how do you fix a relationship. While this can sometimes lead to couples or marriage counselling, individual relationship therapy can be just as valuable. Taking time to explore past experiences and patterns of relating can bring clarity, helping you understand what may need to change and what you want to do differently going forward.

There is a quiet strength in choosing yourself, whether after a breakup or before entering a new relationship. Not the kind that needs to prove anything, but the kind that comes from allowing yourself space. Learning to how to fix a relationship may start with feeling comfortable on your own, to bring real clarity about what you want, need, and deserve in a relationship with someone else.

Miley Cyrus lyrics says in her song Flowers

… I can buy myself flowers

Write my name in the sand

Talk to myself for hours, yeah

Say things you don't understand

I can take myself dancing, yeah

I can hold my own hand

Choosing inner peace and self-awareness over rushing back into dating can often be misunderstood. From the outside, it may look like avoidance or fear. When done intentionally, it is neither. It is clarity. It is recognising that calm feels better than chaos, and that being comfortable with yourself is worth more than filling space just to avoid being alone.

This choice is not a rejection of love. It is a redefinition of it. Instead of moving quickly from one relationship to another, you begin replacing unrest with steadiness. You stop seeking validation externally and start paying attention to what is happening within. That is where meaningful growth begins. Understanding who you truly are, your values, strengths, and limits builds self-worth and brings clarity about what you genuinely want from a relationship.

Developing a strong relationship with yourself means noticing how you move through the world when no one else is influencing your decisions. You begin to understand what drains you and what restores you. You learn the difference between what you were taught to want and what you actually need. Boundaries start to take shape, not as barriers, but as guides. They communicate self-respect, clarify your needs, and help you recognise what you are and are not willing to tolerate.

When you feel whole on your own, the way you approach relationships changes. You are no longer looking to be completed or rescued. You show up grounded, aware of your worth, and less willing to compromise yourself for the comfort of someone else. That shift alone transforms the quality of your connections.

Contentment becomes your baseline. Not constant happiness or perfection, but stability. You learn how to sit with your emotions without needing someone else to fix them. From that place, love becomes a choice rather than something you cling to. You become the foundation, while others are an addition to an already solid life, not the thing holding it together.

This is how people truly move forward. Not by replacing someone who has gone, but by building a life that feels steady and meaningful on its own. When your sense of wellbeing no longer depends on another person, relationships stop being a source of anxiety and become a space for growth, security, and connection.

If you are looking for answers to questions like

·       “Help me understand why my relationships feel so hard”

·       “I want healthier relationships but don’t know where to start”

·       “I feel like something inside me affects all my relationships”

·       “Explain why inner work matters in relationships”

·       “Why do I repeat the same patterns with people?”

Strong relationships with others are built on a strong relationship with yourself.

Inspired by a passage from R. M. Drake.

If you want to change your relationships get in touch by clicking here to arrange a free initial consultation with our Lead Therapist

For appointments with Linda in West Mallinng, Kent please follow this link and complete the contact form